Saturday, 7 November 2009

Mathew J Barrie

Recently I have been comparing my life to a film... In films there are heroes and villains... Main characters and supporting ones. I have come to the conclusion that I am not one of the main characters in this film... I am destined to play the role of supporting character- MAN#2... When I was at college studying performing arts and to a lesser extent university where I studied media performance I regularly found myself cast as the "comic relief"... It never really bothered me as I always enjoyed being able to make an audience laugh... Even in reality I am fortunate to have always been able to make someone smile and laugh, which is a wonderful thing... A gift to share... However... I found and still do find myself craving the need, the desire to be taken seriously... I have found that people respond to me when I am "acting" and "performing" and being witty... Which is good as it is the desired thing... However I am not always in the mood to "act", "perform" or be witty... Then people seem to avoid me... Like I'm a performing monkey, there solely to entertain... A jester... So if life is a film yes, I'm the guy who has the best dialogue, and I'm the one who may steal most of the scenes from the leading man... But at the end of the film? He is the one who saves the day, he is the one who gets the girl... It's only fair, after all, he's the one on the poster. He's better looking, more "convincing" in the role... Conventional... So I am the "comic relief", which would be fine except life isn't a comedy... I've tried to be the leading man... It doesn't seem to work... So I have to choose- Do I want to be a mediocre leading man? Or do I want to be a great supporting character? Like Cosmo Brown from Singin' In The Rain? Do I want to spend the duration of the film assisting the leading man in his journey to victory and the girl? Or do I want to take one more crack at being the leading man and hope it will work out? Either way, ultimately I can't be happy, I either fail in my quest and I still end up 3rd or 4th down the cast list or... I continue to entertain people on demand and die a little inside each time someone laughs... One thing about this film I do know however... I sincerely hope there's no sequel...

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